I am the custodial parent of my 2 year old daughter. I have full physical and legal custody, however, my ex carries her health insurance. Her Pediatrician is also my ex’s Pediatrician- he was my ex’s doctor until a few years before our daughter was born. Since they have known my ex for years they tend to be very biased- leaning towards his side of everything.
When we first started going there, and filled out all the paperwork, I was primary contact and emergency contact since I was a SAHM. Now that I’m on my own and working full time days, he’s mostly responsible for her routine visits. This is fine except the other day when I brought my daughter to be tested for Lyme Disease they called his girlfriend with the results (on her personal cell I’m told) and I did not find out that she was on antibiotics for two days! She passed the info on to him, he went and picked up the prescription and was administering her antibiotics himself without telling me test results or anything. I finally got so worried after not hearing from the doctor for 3 days that I called the office for answers and that’s when they told me they spoke to "Marie" and it was a positive Lyme and she is on antibiotics and supposed to be scheduled to see a specialist as a precautionary measure. When I asked why I was not called they told me they did not have any of my info in the system and called Marie as she was listed as primary contact.
When I went through the whole story of we are separated, and I have sole custody, they said unless there is a restraining order in place, her father has just as much access to records and make changes as I do. This is fine as he is actively involved in her life and should be actively involved in her well being and health care as well, however, to remove me from the picture completely and put a girl in there that has no right to her medical records or info, is against our custody agreement.
In trying to address this with the office manager, her final response to me was "get a restraining order or I can’t stop him from making changes- whoever is standing in front of our reception window is the one we’ll trust at that moment and is allowed to make whatever changes to the account necessary"
Since I can’t get anywhere with the doctors office, I’m considering changing primary care doctors.
The only problem is, my ex carries the insurance, and refuses to contact them to change primary care providers. What can I do on my end to make this a smooth transition? What do I need to consider before changing doctors, she’s 2 so I don’t see this effecting her emotionally or anything as she has no attachment, and my doctor of choice is amazing and comes highly reccomended (and trusted). What repercussions could this have for me legally? The basics of our agreement is that One parent is to seek medical attention immediatley and then notify the other parent as soon as possible of the nature of illness or injury and the location of the baby. He is granted full access to her medical records and is to receive medical bills, pay them, then present to me to reimburse half the cost in 30 days. It does not say that I cannot change doctors without his consent, however since I have full legal and physical, I believe I have the right to. They will have his information as well and he will have the new doctors info and will be welcome to attend any or all of her doctors appointments just as before.
The bottom line is she can still see another doctor it’d just be considered "out of network" and him and I would be responsible for splitting the cost of that. However, since I am at work all day he could easily take her to "his" doctor and not the one that I’m choosing to transfer her to.
Do I need to go back to court and present this to a judge? My attorney simply suggested that I move her to another pediatrician and I have not heard back in regards to how to do this without causing major drama and more issues and added costs due to out of network issues.
Advice?
I guess I should add that it is not a matter of sitting down and talking like adults. We are ex’s for personal reasons. But continue to raise a child together. I encourage him to be as active in our daughters life as possible and he embraces this. Granted, we do not get along, and are seperated for our own personal reasons. This has nothing to do with not being able to act like adults. I’m doing this to avoid further drama. If her doctors office is not assisting me in staying up to date on my childs health care, then I have to go somewhere that I feel will better cooperate in facilitating two parents living seperately yet raising a child together and will work with us, not against us.
OK, you spoke with the Office Manager. I don’t know the details of divorce law in your state, but chances are the Office Manager does not either. The Office Manager may or may not know what she is talking about. Try talking to the doctor. Say you were very worried because you hadn’t heard from him. Tell him that you really don’t want him contacting anyone OTHER then you or the father, and are concerned that this Marie knows your daughter’s medical business. He may be sympathetic, or concerned about HIPAA violations. (He has a license to lose).
*If* he isn’t sympathetic (or you can’t get to talk to him) send him a letter saying the same thing. Add in the letter that you feel this is a HIPAA violation that this "Marie" was given access to medical records, and threaten to file a complaint with the state medical board or get a new doctor. Include a copy of the custody agreement. Also send a copy of the letter to the Health Insurance Company. (It’s a long shot but there is a small chance they might threaten to kick the doctor out of their network or let you bypass the husband in switching Primary Care Physicians).
If it doesn’t work dealing with it from the doctor’s end, tell your Ex "If you don’t change primary care doctors, I’ll send him to a different doctor and bill you for the difference". Mention that the Office Manager advised you to get a restraining order. (That might leave him annoyed with the doctor if he thinks through the implications of that really bad advice)
Sad situation.
Its too bad that you and your ex can not sit down and have a reasonable discussion and come to terms like adults.
However if you can’t, you need to address the issue sternly with the current pediatrician. They need to be informed that you are the primary contact for your child, and need to have the records changed. Require them to confirm that information has been changed.
Secondly, tell them as is required by law, they may not discuss any medical information or history with any person other than yourself or the child’s father. Remind them that their contact to "Marie" is a breach of the law.
As her father, he is legally allowed access to her medical information, and you should allow the doctor to contact him, and to release information if he requests it.
I found help from these lawyers over here http://www.lawyersearchplace.tk